Yearning Under the Fluorescent Lights: The Unspoken Hunger for Adventure and the Hero's Journey

• A 2020 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men who identified with the Hero's Journey reported higher levels of well-being and purpose in life.
• A 2018 survey by the American Psychological Association revealed that 80% of men feel pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms, which can hinder emotional expression and self-exploration.

The Hero's Journey offers a framework for men to embark on a personal odyssey

• The Call to Adventure: This is the initial spark that ignites the journey. It could be a dissatisfaction with the status quo, a yearning for purpose, or a challenge that demands action.
• Crossing the Threshold: Leaving the familiar behind and stepping into the unknown, this stage requires courage and commitment.
• Trials and Tribulations: The hero faces obstacles, inner demons, and external threats, testing their resolve and forcing them to adapt and grow.
• The Innermost Cave: This is the point of deepest challenge, where the hero confronts their fears and vulnerabilities.
• Transformation: Through perseverance and self-discovery, the hero emerges from the cave changed, carrying newfound strength and wisdom.
• The Road Back: The journey isn't over. The hero must return to the ordinary world, sharing their newfound knowledge and integrating it into their life.

• Call to Adventure: Morpheus presents Neo with the red pill, offering a glimpse of the truth and challenging his perception of reality.
• Crossing the Threshold: Choosing the red pill, Neo enters the Matrix, leaving behind his comfortable ignorance and facing a dangerous new world.
• Trials and Tribulations: Neo trains, faces agents, and grapples with self-doubt, questioning his abilities and purpose.
• Innermost Cave: Facing Agent Smith, a powerful representation of the system's control, Neo confronts his mortality and awakens his true potential.
• Transformation: Embracing his identity as "The One," Neo manipulates the Matrix, defying the rules and becoming a symbol of hope.
• The Road Back: Leading the resistance against the machines, Neo carries the burden of leadership and continues to fight for freedom.

The Stages of Your Odyssey: Your personal odyssey, like the hero's, unfolds in distinct stages. The "Call to Adventure" might be a nagging feeling of discontent, a yearning for something more. The "Refusal of the Call", that initial hesitation, is natural. But overcoming it, like starting that new business or finally enrolling in that self-improvement course, marks the true beginning.

The "Road of Trials" is where you confront your inner dragons – self-doubt, fear, and limiting beliefs. You'll encounter "Mentors", individuals who guide and support you, and "Allies" who join you on this transformative journey. The "Innermost Cave" represents the most significant challenge, a deeply personal hurdle you must overcome. 

Emerging from this crucible, you transform. You gain the "Treasure" – not gold or jewels, but self-awareness, resilience, and a newfound sense of purpose. The "Return with the Elixir" signifies applying your newfound wisdom to enrich your life and inspire others.

Your Story Starts Now: The Hero's Journey isn't a linear path; it's a cyclical dance of growth, challenge, and transformation. Remember, the hero isn't born, he's forged. Embrace the challenges, seek guidance, and remember, the greatest adventure is the one within. Are you ready to begin your own Hero's Journey?

Life's a wild ride, throwing curveballs and crossroads at every turn. From the mundane to the monumental, each choice shapes my path. But how do I navigate this complex terrain? How do I ensure every step resonates with my true self and what truly matters? The answer lies within, in my personal values - my guiding star.

These values are more than just words; they're the fundamental principles that give my life meaning. They shape my priorities, guide my decisions, and fuel my actions. They're the bedrock of who I am, the foundation upon which I build my sense of purpose, echoing the ancient Greek notion of "know thyself."

But why are they so important?

Clarity and Direction: Like a compass in a storm, my values provide a map, helping me make decisions that resonate with my true self. They offer direction and purpose, guiding me towards a life that feels deeply fulfilling.

Stronger Relationships: When I live by my values, I weave trust and strengthen bonds with others. My authenticity and consistency shine through, fostering deeper connections and meaningful relationships.

Resilience in the Face of Adversity: When life throws punches, my values become my anchor, similar to the Stoic concept of "apatheia" - calmness and emotional stability. They help me stay grounded, make ethical choices, and navigate difficult situations with integrity.

Greater Happiness and Well-being: Living in harmony with my values fosters a sense of inner peace and contentment,freedom from worry and anxiety. It leads to a happier and more fulfilling life, resembling the Taoist concept of "wuxin" - the state of effortless action.

So, how do I discover these guiding principles?

Self-Reflection: Like Socrates' "know thyself" philosophy, I delve into my past, dissecting experiences that brought joy and those that caused distress. Identifying these emotions reveals the values that resonate deeply within me.

List-Making: I create a list of qualities I admire and aspire to embody, drawing inspiration from the ancient wisdom of various cultures. Words like honesty, kindness, compassion, courage, and integrity become stepping stones to self-discovery.

Prioritization: Once my list is complete, I prioritize the values that hold the most weight. These become my guiding lights, shaping my decisions and actions.

Living Congruently:

• I set goals and make choices aligned with my values.
• I communicate them openly and honestly to others.
• I hold myself accountable for my actions, drawing inspiration from the Stoic practice of "amor fati" - love of one's fate.
• I embrace challenges and opportunities to grow and strengthen my values, mirroring the Taoist principle of "wu wei" - effortless action.

Living by my values is a continuous journey, requiring constant self-reflection and growth. It's not always easy, but the rewards are immeasurable. By staying true to my core beliefs, I create a life filled with meaning, purpose, and lasting happiness. This is my journey of self-discovery, and my values are the guiding stars that light the way, illuminated by the wisdom of ages past.

I’m including some exercises that can be helpful when peeling the value onion.

Finding your values exercises

Exercise 1: Can you reflect back on a moment where you felt happy, fulfilled and proud of yourself? Take some time to describe this moment in detail. Identify what elements of this situation, in particular, led to these feelings of happiness and pride.

1. What were you doing?
2. Were you with other people, and if so who?
3. What other factors contributed to your happiness?

In the same way that we feel happy and fulfilled when we’re living out our values, we can also experience feelings of regret, sadness, and emptiness when we are not living out our values.

Exercise 2: Take a few moments to remember a time when you felt incredibly regretful. Describe the details of this situation/memory: what was it specifically that led to these feelings of regret?

Feeling frustrated or unfulfilled can often be a sign that our values might be being quashed, perhaps by parts of ourselves, by external situations or other people.

Exercise 3: Identify a time when you felt frustrated, unfulfilled, empty or annoyed? Make a note of the particular elements of this situation that led to these feelings of frustration, unfulfillment and emptiness.

There are certain activities that we can find ourselves doing that engross us and cause us to get into the flow. These are usually activities that are challenging and rewarding, and when we’re doing them we often lose track of time.

Exercise 4: Make a list of any activities where you experience this flow? What is it specifically about these activities that you enjoy so much?

We cannot grow in life without being evoked by inspiration: creativity, self-esteem, perceived competence and optimism are all consequences of inspiration. From a very early age we adopt this idea of wishing to be like someone in order to become someone; whilst in our earliest years our concept of inspiration tended to revolve around what you wanted to be in terms of career, as we get older, we take inspiration from people who we admire the traits of. There are certain people that we come across in life who we find inspiring and embody qualities or live lives that we aspire to.

Exercise 5: Who are your role models and what qualities about these individuals do you admire?

Exercise 6: Everyone has something to offer to the world. Take the time on this page to acknowledge what you have to give to those around you, and what makes you of value. What are my natural gifts and qualities? When do other people usually turn to you for help? What qualities and gifts do you identify in yourself that you believe others may find of value?

Exercise 7: Determine your most important values, based on your experiences of inner peace. Consider why each experience is so memorable and important?  I like to use this great online tool: https://personalvalu.es/personal-values-test

Exercise 8: Reaffirming your values - Take a few moments to check your top-priority values and make sure they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.

1. Do the values you’ve chosen make you feel good about yourself
2. Are you proud of your top three values?
3. Would you be comfortable telling people you respect your values?
4. Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice weren’t popular and put you in the minority?

When you take into consideration your values in decision making, you can be certain to keep a sense of integrity and what you know is right, while being able to approach decisions with confidence and clarity. 

You’ll also know that what you’re currently doing is motivated by the progress that you want to make in life. It’s not always easy to make value-based choices, but it will more than likely make life much easier in the long run.

KEY POINTS

• Identifying and taking the time to understand your values is an important and challenging exercise. Your personal values are central to who you are – and who you want to become.
• By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation. Some of life’s decisions are really about determining what you value most.
• When many options seem reasonable, it can be comforting and helpful to rely on your core values and use them as a strong guiding force to point you in the right direction.

We all have inner voices that criticize, judge, doubt, or worry about ourselves and others. These are our saboteurs, and they can prevent us from achieving our goals, enjoying our relationships, and living a happy and meaningful life.

Saboteurs are not our true selves. They are learned patterns of thinking that we developed in childhood to cope with stress, fear, or pain. They may have served us well at some point, but they are no longer helpful or adaptive. In fact, they can sabotage our success, health, and happiness.

The good news is that we can overcome our saboteurs and increase our positive intelligence. Positive intelligence is the ability to use our mind in a positive and constructive way, rather than a negative and destructive way. It is measured by the percentage of time that we operate from our sage, which is our wise and calm inner voice that can handle any challenge with clarity, compassion, and creativity.

The higher our positive intelligence, the more we can achieve our potential, overcome obstacles, and experience joy and fulfillment. Research shows that positive intelligence is the best predictor of performance and happiness across any domain of life.

So how can we increase our positive intelligence and enhance our mental fitness? Here are some practical tips that you can apply in your everyday life:

• Identify your saboteurs. The first step is to become aware of the different types of saboteurs that you have and how they show up in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. There are 10 common saboteurs: Judge, Controller, Avoider, Victim, Stickler, Pleaser, Restless, Hyper-Achiever, Hyper-Rational, and Hyper-Vigilant. You can take a free assessment at www.positiveintelligence.com to discover your top saboteurs.
• Challenge your saboteurs. The second step is to challenge the validity and usefulness of your saboteur thoughts. You can do this by asking yourself questions such as: Is this thought true? Is this thought helpful? What evidence do I have for this thought? What evidence do I have against this thought? What would my sage say about this situation? By questioning your saboteur thoughts, you can weaken their hold on you and open up space for your sage to emerge.
• Activate your sage. The third step is to activate your sage powers. Your sage has five powers: Empathize, Explore, Innovate, Navigate, and Activate. Each power helps you deal with a different aspect of a challenge: understanding yourself and others, finding the root cause of the problem, generating creative solutions, choosing the best course of action, and taking effective steps to implement it. You can activate your sage powers by asking yourself questions such as: What am I feeling right now? What are others feeling? What is the real issue here? What are some possible options? What is the best option for me? What are the next steps I need to take?
• Practice mental exercises. The fourth step is to practice mental exercises that strengthen your positive neural pathways and weaken your negative ones. These are simple activities that you can do throughout the day to boost your positive intelligence and mental fitness. For example, you can focus on your breath for 10 seconds, notice three things that you are grateful for, or smile at someone you meet. These exercises help you shift from your saboteur mode to your sage mode and increase your happiness and resilience.

By following these tips, you can overcome your saboteurs and live a more fulfilled life. Remember that positive intelligence is a skill that you can learn and improve with practice. The more you practice, the more you will benefit from the wisdom and power of your sage.

I have become a huge fan of these exercises. It doesn't take much to begin experiencing true transformation in your mind, which leads to transformation in your life! Don't wait. Start practicing today!

If you're curious to know more, don't hesitate to contact us. Personal transformation is our mission, and we're itching to help you get started on your own.